Ika-27 ng Nobyembere. Unang araw ko sa trabaho matapos ang labing apat na araw na bakasyon kung saan ako nag-maneho sa kalsadang tila hindi nauubos, matapos ang higit sa dalawang libong pitik mula kay Trince (Canon 450D) at kung anu-ano pang pangyayari sa aking buhay.

Bumalik ako sa opisina at tila nakalimutan ko na ang lahat. Nakalimutan ko ang aking password sa aking workstation. Muntik kong makalimutan ang aking phone login. Nawalan ako ng access sa notepad at Filezilla.

Wala akong ginawa sa buhay ko noon sa opisina kundi dumaldal, mag-surf at kung anu-ano pang kalokohan. Buong araw ako naka-titig sa aking monitor at tila naghihintay sa wala.

Hindi mabilang na kumento sa mga blog ng kakilala at isa na dito ang litratong ginawa ni Kat kung saan parang nabasa siya ng tubig at biglang dumami. Sa isang reply niya sa kumento ko, sinabihan niya ako na nag-text siya sakin. Kamalasan naman at bawal ang mobile phone sa aming mga workstation dito sa opisina dahil mga mukha daw kaming magnanakaw ng credit card number.

Nang matapos ang isang napakahabang araw ng paghihintay ng gagawin sa opisina, dumercho ako sa Lung Center (smoking area ng opisina) upang mag-sunog ng baga. Matapos ang ilang minuto ng kwentuhan at kung anu-ano pa, dumercho ako sa locker room upang tignan ang aking mobile phone. Nakita kong mayroon akong limang mensahe. Dalawa dito ay mula kay Kat, isa mula kay Toti at dalawa mula sa paborito kong texter, ang Globe.

Una kong binasa ang mensahe ni Toti (ang bandista kong kaibigan na napaka-likot sa entablado), nagyaya siya uminom sa kanila. Nag-isip ako kung may okasyon at wala naman akong naalala kaya hindi na ako nag-reply para isipin niya na natutulog na ako. (Kinabukasan ko na nalaman na anibersaryo pala ni Camille kaya pala may maliit na celebration, pasensya na at hindi ko talaga alam. Happy anniversary nalang sa inyong dalawa!)

Sumunod ang mensahe ng Globe at ito'y binura ko na lamang dahil wala naman kwentang mensahe ito.

Binasa ko na ang mensahe ni Kat at siya ay nagyaya pumunta sa Gateway para sa ikalawang EB ng mga Pitikero. Nag-dalawang isip ako nung una dahil tila isang malaking parking lot ang kahabaan ng Ayala pero sinimulan ko narin mag-lakad mula opisina patungong MRT sa may SM. Medyo pawisan ako sa pag-lalakad dahil napaka-init kahit wala ng araw. Medyo malayo din ang aking nilakad dahil sa PeopleSupport ako. Mag-kabilang dulo ng Ayala ang nilakad ko pero ayus din dahil matagal ko ng hindi ginawa yun.

Pag-dating ko sa MRT Station, napa-isip na naman ako kung tutuloy ako dahil napaka-haba ng pila sa bilihan ng card. Masikip at mainit. May mabango at may mabaho, halu-halong amoy at talaga namang nakaka-hilo. Hindi ako maselan sa ganito pero yung mga panahong yun, dahil na rin siguro sa antok at gutom, nahilo ako. Nag-desisyon akong pumunta parin dahil mukha naman magiging masaya ang EB.

Habang naka-pila, medyo nairita ako sa tatlong matandang babae ang biglang sumingit sa pila na parang walang ibang taong naka-pila. Dalawang tao nalang ang pagitan mula sa akin at ang kahera ng biglang umeksena ang tatlong matanda. Doon ko lang naalala na hindi na nga pala kailangan pumila ng mga Senior Citizen, bakit, dahil nga Senior Citizen na sila. Kinalimutan ko nalang na nairita ako pero dahil sinulat ko na rin ito, may ideya ako, sana mag-karoon na lang ng isang takdang kahera para sa mga Senior Citizen at mga may kapansanan para naman mas madali para sa kanila at hindi na nila kailangan makipag-siksikan sa mga taong naka-pila at para narin maiwasan ang pagka-irita ng ibang tao. May katuturan ba ang aking ideya?

Balik sa EB, habang naka-sakay sa MRT, naka-tayo lang ako dahil sa dami nga ng tao at may dalawang babaeng biglang humaripas ng takbo papasok sa MRT at halos itulak ako. Buti nalang at babae sila dahil kung lalaki sila, baka pinatulan ko na sila.

Matapos ang ilang minuto at anim na istasyon ng MRT, bumaba na ako sa Araneta Center at inumpisahan kong lumakad patungong Gateway kung saan naghihintay sila sa Food Court.

Medyo naligaw ligaw pa ako ng konti dahil hindi ko naman talaga ako pumupunta sa Gateway. Una kong nakita si Kat dahil siya lang naman talaga ang kilala ko dun. Una ko siyang binati at ipinakilala niya ako sa mga Pitikero.

Nasa EB ang mga sumusunod.

• Alex - Ang tindero ng t-shirt na tila lumalaklak ng Cobra Energy Drink dahil sa taas ng kanyang enerhiya at kadaldalan.
• Vince - Ang taong steady na patawa-tawa lang pero kwela din.
• Jen - Ang taong perky at todo sa pag-ngiti at makulit din.
• Rachelle - Ang estudyante na walang tigil sa pag-pitik.
• Bea - Ang estudyante tulad ni Rachelle. Fine Arts student kaya astig!
• Drew - Ang taong naka Pilipinas Jacket ng Adidas na umorder ng mutant liempo ng dinosaur.
• Pot - Ang taong pormal ang get-up pero makulit din humirit.
• Chat - Ang taong naka-suot ng STAND UP shirt. Astig! 
• Kat - Ang taong maliit pero makulit at malakas _________. Fill in the blank nalang.
• Direk Coco - Ang taong mahaba ang buhok at makulit at masaya din kasama.

Ang mga Pitikero minus the Tindero

L2R: Chat, Pot, Vince, Drew, Kat, Keith, Jen, Bea, Rachelle, Direk Coco

Ayus ang grupo, masaya at mataas ang enerhiya. Paniguradong mauulit ang pag-sama ko sa grupong ito at sana sa mga susunod na pag-kikita ay makapag-shoot naman tayo o di naman kaya ay konting inuman para mas makilala natin ang isa't isa. Sana din sa may bandang Makati naman. Pero dahil kaladkarin akong lalaki, kahit saang sulok na Maynila ay ayus lang sa akin.

Currently Jammin' to: DMB - The Space Between
Currently feeling: bored

I can't help being happy today :D I went to Makati and checked the school out and it was good!!! so i was walking back to the MRT with a silly smile on my face busily calculating how much i'd have to save each payday and how much i'd allow myself as allowance and also gimik fund. and still have enough for the rainy days. I was walking on air just thinking about school! and now I'm home but I have to leave really soon cause I'm gonna go get the car fixed up. where else? Banawe of course! I am such a fucking cheapskate! I love it! I love me! I love you all! And you! And you! Except you! And I love you the most! And you! HAHAHAHA!!! SHIT... that morning coffee session with Dimplez, Loreen, Vinz, Lock and Andie must've affected my brain circuits.

if you'd seen me in U.P. a couple of weeks ago you wouldn't believe it was moi... So Joysi, my "perfect" friend who hates my jokes but has no choice except to laugh along asked me to model for her. As a Rock Star! I laughed it off and told her i'd do it but it would cost her. And it did... she had to buy me a wig. But since I do have a conscience I opted to buy myself the leather pants and black nail polish... and also share half of the cost for the wig. She had to buy me coffee at coffee bean though. and another cup at U.P. plus yosi hahaha we even saw a workmate in U.P. and i tried my disguise out. I called her name. I was on the phone with Kino. "heya If (that's her name)" She just looked at me with a bewildered look and walked away. Perfect!!! My disguise made me a different person. so at 12 noon i was there at the back of the bleachers with an all black ensemble, my les paul and even my wanna be zakk wylde strap (pure heavy duty chains). Ruined my guitar's strap hooks while jumping around 30-40 times just to get the impression that i was suspended in air. and then having to pose for about another 30 minutes with all the guitar god poses i could dream of. still waiting for the pics to be emailed to me. my legs burned like hell after that one hour session. and i was so drained cause it was hot and I had LEATHER pants on! LEATHER!!! sheesh!!! I then drove to Bulacan to pick Kym and Kino up and in the process surprising them with my otherworldly get up. even Ma'am Elvie was shocked. hahaha Domz didn't fall for it though he just gave me a stern look and told me "Why the fuck are you wearing a damn wig?" We then practiced and I think that wig really did wonders to my playing. it was also the first time we tested my G2.1u. DOes having long hair really affect your playing? well we'll just have to wait and see... I ain't shaving my hair off for some time.

My New Gadget well it's not really new anymore cause i bought it 2 weeks ago... i had my leftover and i had yet to deposit it into my other account when Dimplez texted me that the 13th month bonus was already in our regular bank accounts and my god were they sizeable! Anyway... before that great event that employees often wait for all year... I met up with Maan's lola and she told me that there was no way Maan would ever get back with me anymore and later on after texting her she confirmed it so i was quite depressed the whole of November. Up until the 13th month bonus. Thinking what the hell... I had money in the bank (13th month) and i had money on hand... i decided fuck it all... just buy the damn thing and get the gadget lust out of my system (and also get Jean Paul and Dominic off my back with their constant nagging that i really should invest in a gadget already) I took the plunge and bought my Zoom G2.1u but of course at the cheapest price possible... after all money doesn't grow on trees and i spent countless nights for the whole month of october to earn that. I scoured the internet for a second hand unit and almost bought one from someone and then i had second thoughts... i decided to just buy a brand new one if it'd just cost me a thousand more. I got mine for less than 7k and the normal selling price (brand new is 9k plus) second hand (5k to 6k depending on condition) mine was 6,900.00 Hah!!! Mr. Kuripot hits a homerun again!!! and I paraded my new gadget to all the stores who were selling it to me at 7,500.00 especially the one who wouldn't lower her price at 7,800.00. I enjoyed the look on their face when they saw i bought a unit... (they were probably thinking... "fuck... i should've given him the fuckin discount he was asking for...") went home... plugged the thing into my amp and then to my computer and damn!!! everything i ever wished for was there!!! I love my new gadget so much. And the drum machine is to die for as well as the almost analog quality of the overdrive and lush chorus and mind numbing delay qualities. i spent 6 hours on my first jam session with myself... jamming along to songs on my mp3 collection. Using cool edit i even provided additional solos for Frank Sinatra... my all time favorite cool guy. If you don't like ol' blue eyes then maybe you should have your ears checked... that dude can really sing and put feelings into them songs... and i especially love David Cook's always be my baby version i then spent a couple of hours editting my patches for live settings (gigs, etcetera) Damn I love my G2.1u! G2.1u, I love you!

well i found the school i wanna be in and i have a game plan i'm still asking domz to join me in the same school i've calculated the expenses and yes my meager salary can cover everything and still leave me enough to party every week or indulge in a cup of cow dung tasting coffee every day at either tarbaks or the c'bean (i'm kidding... i love their coffee... it's just the price i can't agree with... poor people always find something to gripe about hahaha) and also put gas in the car everyday... so... all i have to do is report to school every 2 weeks for 4 months per sem. but, i can opt to finish a sem in a month or 2. Plus since i've had my grades assessed i only have to take a couple of subjects to finish it and get my bachelor's in business administration Finally! I mean i don't wanna shoot down an associate's degree but it hasn't really helped me that much... i mean yeah it's a great thing to have it. In fact, kids... those in AMA or ABE or other schools that offer Associates Degrees... treat it as a stepping stone but get that Bachelor's as soon as possible. And to make it more worth it... pay for your own tuition... heh... I remember my first college years... me and Domz enrolled in RTRMF (a medical school in Tacloban) as Medical Technology students... we did it for a year but eventually i got sick and tired or the hassle of going to school and interacting with my snobbish classmates... to my dad's chagrin... i quit. Then I went to Cebu to study in USC for Marine Biology... did that for a year but after a brief encounter with a teeny tiny dog shark (about a foot in length...) i realized maybe this wasn't for me... hehehe i almost had a bad case of the bends when i panicked and ascended way too fast from being submerged at 30 feet... if not for my instructor holding fast to my ankle i would've burst my lungs. Almost cost me my license as a diver hahaha but all's well that ends well... After that i returned to Tacloban and re entered RTRMF as a nursing student with Domz again and we even managed to become President and Vice President of the class... yours truly being President of course hehehe didn't last that long either... By then we realized i had a serious problem... I used to love school so much... it's just that I was way too anti social... brought upon by my burgeoning love for music and being affected by the lifestyle as an artist (sheesh) I had serious bouts of depression which after being checked by a psychiatrist stemmed from my disappointment at not being able to enter Philippine Science High School (long story... let's just say I studied a whole year for that only to get bumped off by another student who was way more intelligent then I was relegating me to 4th position and they were only getting 3 students from Tacloban) and ending up in the Seminary instead. My Anti Social tendencies stemmed from my youthful arrogance knowing i had an i.q. of 120 and my natural skills in language, math and science. plus the fact that i was an excellent swimmer at 6 and martial artist at 8 years old. all these things helped to swell my head to rather enormous proportions. I believed i needed no one's help. (at that time i was also earning my own money aside from my allowance) god... looking back at all those years that i was like that... it makes me cringe.... sometimes i still revert to that person but only as a defense mechanism... to turn off my feelings... so going back... my Dad was so dismayed at my lack of concentration in school and gave me an ultimatum... i decided to silently flip him the finger and said i didn't want to go to school anymore. in short i quit. but a few months later i found an ad in a newspaper... it was ICS (International Correspondence School). I pooled my money and signed up for Fine Arts Course... I was doing well enough until that school turned out to be short lived... disappointed again I withdrew from the world. It took me a year before I finally ventured out. This time I enrolled in AMA CLC a new school at that time and since they were offering night classes i thought cool! I can work and study at the same time. and that's what i did. I was working as a D.J. in ABS-CBN, worked part time in our Pharmacy and also worked as an FSR at ACA (got promoted as a Trainer and as soon as i graduated became manager 2 or MT2) to help me pay my way through college that and the odd jobs i took playing with my band and selling my paintings. after 3 years i finally got my (Associate's in Computer Science Development and Programming) certificate and thought I was the Shit! When I came to Manila... I had my eyes roughly opened to the real world. It took a lot of Pride swallowing and real hard work. I was already living on my own first in Paco and then I got a condo in Sucat (WaterFun) because i thought it'd be a fun place what with all the slides and pools. I thought I'd made it. I had a great job, a great place, a beautiful girl ahhh the bachelor's life. Harsh events yanked me back to what was real... i went through a real hard time and eventually had to crawl back to my Dad and work for him again. 2 years worked wonders to my shattered pride and ego... i was back to my old self albeit with less loftier thoughts of grandeur. I had matured a bit. Now here I am craving for a bachelor's degree and I'm earning enough to pay for my shit. It'll be my gift to myself and to my dear old suffering dad... So please shush muna until I graduate cause I'm gonna surprise him... maybe see the old man jump for joy. I owe the old man that much for bearing with his dreamer of a son. IF YOU READ THIS UP TO THIS PART, THANKS FOR BEARING WITH THE ARROGANT NATURE IN WHICH I WROTE THIS. it was needed.

well here we are at another crossroad in my life i went out with haydee and shiena last night and we had coffee at high street we discussed college life and all that i really miss school i'm looking for a home study program so that i can study whenever time allows cause i got work and all that serious crap in life *sigh*

N

they say the greatest thing an artist creates stems from extreme emotions

pain

happiness

etcetera and all that bullshit

yeah so i've created a few songs that to my bandmates are masterpieces

does that make me an addict to the pain?

cause all i've ever really done are songs of love and the absence of it in my life

i can no longer feel anything

well not really anything but i find it harder and harder to express what i really feel to other people or to i don't know

i'm just rambling on and on again

i guess everytime i'm depressed is the best time for me to pick up my guitar and write a song

everything's just so messed up

i don't want to end up with a 12 gauge under my nose

good thing i don't have a gun